The funny things people say

     I have had so many embarrassing quotes thrown at me in the last few weeks!!! It has been insane! Some of them are funny, so I'll list them here in really short versions.

     Okay, quote one... This was at a stake dance, and over and over again people asked me why I didn't go to the bigger and more ominous "Regional Dance." I replied rather awkwardly to everyone that asked, "Because, nobody ever asks me to dance... It makes me feel a little left out." Until finally one of my best friends asked me the same question. When I replied to his question, he gave me a surprised look and said, "Well, if I had been there I would've asked you!" It was rather funny, but lots of people laughed at me for that comment.

     This quote is going to take a lot of confusing explanations. The quote? "Beth, stay away from knives!!!" So one time I was just sitting at lunch, and I was bored to the extreme. For some reason I just started playing with my utensils, twirling them in between my fingers, poking things around on my plate. And somehow it has become the joke that I have turned emo, just because I was playing with the knife! If you've heard a rumor that I'm emo, it's not true!!!

     Next quotes are from a kid who likes to poke fun at me when I'm doing the Student Government announcements... One day (when I was doing the announcements over the speaker phone,) a kid in Mrs. Cobia's science class blurted out, "Hey, I recognize her voice! It's that Sleepy Hollows girl!!" That same kid made another funny comment about me earlier in the year in Mr. Thompson's English class. As the kids were reading "The Pigman," they came across the word "Transylvanian." Quizzically a student asked, "What is a Transylvanian?" And little Mr. Joker says, " Like Beth!" Well that was mean, but I can't help that I'm white...

Those are just silly quotes I've heard other people say lately, but just for your sake, I'm going to post funnier quotes.

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. -- Kathy Lette

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... -- Sir Norman Wisdom

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues. -- Helen Rowland

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. -- Dick Van Dyke

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and you get rid of him all weekend. -- Zenna Schaffer

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. -- Marty Feldman

I can resist everything except temptation. -- Oscar Wilde

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. -- W.C. Fields

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -- Albert Einstein

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. -- Mark Twain

Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement. --Mark Twain

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. --Mark Twain

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. -- Winston Churchill

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. --Winston Churchill