Monday, February 1, 2010

Pick-up lines: The do's and don'ts

     Before my yearly protest of Valentine's begins, I thought that maybe I should share some funny and nice pick-up lines (in the hopes that my readers will take heart and actually use them to brighten the day of the guy or girl that you like!)

In case you haven't seen Panda Girl's blog, you will notice that I borrowed most of the pick-up lines from her. I give her full credit for finding them (while adding a few of my personal favorites in the process.)

Funny/ Interesting Pick-Ups

Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you.
Do you have a band-aid? I just scraped my knee while falling for you!
Hey, aren’t you forgetting something? Me!
You must be a broom, because you just swept me off my feet!
Don’t you know me from somewhere?
Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? My jaw!
Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
"Hey, Hailey!" (Big hug). "I haven’t seen you forEVER!!" (huge kiss) "Wow, you’ve really changed!"...
"I’m not Hailey"
"What? Oh my gosh, you even changed your name!"
Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Hi, my name’s Right…Mr. Right.
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you.
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Stupid Pick-ups
If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.
If you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning”.
If you were a library book, I would check you out.
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.
I’m feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?
My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
You’ve got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche. (Hmm... That reminds me of one of my friends! Any guesses?)

Pick-Up Lines for if you think she's pretty, or if you're somewhat stalkerish
If beauty were a grain of sand, you’d be a million beaches.
If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.
If water were beauty you’d be the ocean.
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. (Creepy!!)
Some Tacky Pick-Ups
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south!
Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
What’s a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
Is there a doctor in house, because I think my heart just stopped beating…
"Did it hurt?" "Did what hurt?" "When you fell from heaven?"
I think you’ve got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it’s just a sparkle.

Cute Pick-Up Lines (Jojo's recommended favorites. Yes, they are tacky I will admit!)
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
When I marry you, I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
If beauty were sunlight, you’d shine from a million light-years away.
I think I must be dying because I’m looking at Heaven.
If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.
"Now God must have just been showing off when he made you."
I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I’ll stop loving you.
When you look into the mirror holding up a dozen roses, you see the 13 most beautiful things in the world.
If a star fell for every time I thought of you, the sky would be empty.

"Hey Jojo."
"Do you like fireworks?"
"Yeah, they're really pretty. I watch them with my cousins every year!"
(laughing and a slight pause,)
"Well I like how they go up..."
(Lift arms)
(Extend Arms)
"And Down"
(Put your arm around the girl, totally surprising her.)

"Hey Jojo..."
"It's cold. Are your hands cold"
(me not taking the hint,)
"Um... No? Not really."
(reaching for hand,)
"Well let me check..."
(grab hand, and don't let go for anything.)
That was a most shocking pick up line for me.
Let me just tell you a few of my thoughts in those few split seconds. "Oh my gosh! He's not letting go! Why isn't he letting go of my hand? What's going on?! Oh... Oh! He's holding my hand! Whoa that's never happened to me! What do I do now?!"

Smooth Talking Pick-Ups for guys
Don’t walk into that building — the sprinklers might go off!
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor…so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons. (Plus that one will totally make a girl laugh, unless she has no sense of humor what-so-ever.)

Some of the extremely don't "Don'ts" Pick-Ups
I envy your lipstick. (
If you were a booger I’d pick you first. (Can you say gross? That's a good way to scare a guy off if you don't like him.)
Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet. (What a beautiful comparison? Um, how about not? Yikes!)