Spring Haikus

You might have guessed this from the unusually happy way in which I decided to write Haikus outside of class, but in case you didn't notice, I am so excited for Spring! I've missed playing soccer, and I'm totally getting a different kind of kick from the sunny weather. It's amazing to wake up to the bird's chirping and the bright light leaking in through my window!

Hot, bright light illuminates;
green arms are stretching,
embracing the sky above.





Penetrating tears fall down--
Trickling from heaven,
the sad blue drops giving life.


Bright colors shoot from the ground
Dancing with the wind;
Laughing at the hot, white sun.

East of Eden and Huckleberry Finn

     Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and John Steinbeck’s East of Eden have many similarities, yet they also have a few differences. Likewise, many of the themes and ideas such as the fight between good and evil, lying, and internal characters’ internal conflict and struggles become a major part to the story and how it plays out. However, the differences come about in the author’s different opinions of these struggles, Steinbeck continually shows through his novel that people have the right to choose, and oftentimes people will choose good over evil in the end. For the most part, Twain sees the evil in the world with a pessimistic outlook; evil people are not likely to change who they are, rather they will continually choose wrong if it conforms with society’s views.

     “We have only one story. All novels, all poetry, are built on the never-ending contest in ourselves of good and evil. And it occurs to me that evil must constantly respawn, while good, while virtue is immortal. Vice has always a new fresh young face, while virtue is venerable as nothing else in the world is.” In this sentence, Steinbeck stresses how everything, including our lives, is centered on the conflict between good and evil. Steinbeck’s opinion is that evil always changes to accommodate, but goodness always stays the same. Similarly, Mark Twain addresses the idea of good vs. evil. However, he is more cynical, addressing the conflict in a more negative way. Huckleberry Finn is faced with many hypocrites, liars, and vagabonds throughout his adventure. Twain uses a majority of his characters to point out the flaws in society and it’s lack of good, especially when it comes to the issue of slaves being property. However, it is symbolic that in the end, Caleb (who was constantly fighting doing what was wrong,) and Huck (who had to confront the issue of slavery head on,) chose to do good over evil in the end. The “good” side that they chose was the ultimate goal from the viewpoint of both authors.

     “Cathy was a liar, but she did not lie the way most children do. Hers was no daydream lying, when the thing imagined is told and, to make it seem more real, told as real. That is just ordinary deviation from external reality. I think the difference between a lie and a story is that a story utilizes the trappings and appearance of truth… But a lie is a device for profit or escape.” Steinbeck addresses lying head on, by telling readers what his own opinion of lying is. Throughout East of Eden, the characters who were really struggling with being evil or were already completely evil lied and twisted the truth to their gain. In the end, when Caleb’s brother Aron found out the truth, he could not handle it and ended up getting killed. This sad ending to an innocent character represented how lies can ruin a person’s life. Twain also believed that lying was wrong and hypocritical in many instances. In the church one day, the Grangerfords and the Sheperdsons received a lesson on brotherly love, while the next day, they were killing each other over an issue of marriage. However, Huck lied straight out many times throughout the book to protect his friend Jim from being captured. Contrastingly, Steinbeck’s strictly negative view on lying is truly different than Twain’s belief that lying is okay if it is used as a means to an end for the right purpose.

     The internal conflicts between Caleb from East of Eden and Huck from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn are startlingly similar. Steinbeck illustrates how Caleb’s mother was a monster, “And just as there are physical monsters, can there not be mental or psychic monsters born? The face and body may be perfect, but if a twisted gene or a malformed egg can produce physical monsters, may not the same process produce a malformed soul?” Caleb’s mother Cathy was infinitely evil, and she never changed. He was forced with the fact that his mother was an evil woman who constantly lied and ran a brothel house. Steinbeck’s character chose to overcome the sins of his mother by deciding not to be like her and to become a decent person despite the evil part of her that was in him. Likewise, Huck’s father was evil, he beat Huck and was extremely racist. Huck was confronted by the fact that society had told him his whole life that if he helped a slave that he would go to Hell. Like Caleb, Huck’s internal conflict was solved when he finally made his decision. “Alright then, I’ll go to Hell.” The difference between the two is strongly different in the sense that Caleb will not jeopardize what he feels is right, while Huck will consort to stealing, and lying to do what he feels is ultimately right.

     Although Steinbeck and Twain’s optimistic and pessimistic views seem to contrast each other, the two authors have the same views on many things. Evil is wrong; like their characters, you can overcome it whether it is passed on through genes or all around you in society. Lying is wrong, but in Twain’s view, it is occasionally okay to lie to serve the right purpose. We all face problems that must be resolved, however, whether our decisions are good or evil, we will ultimately decide in the end.

Conflict in Men, Society, and Self

Dear Blog Readers,
     I apologize once again for publishing one of my essays for English, but I figure it will help someone out there. It recounts the external and internal conflicts of Mark Twain's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in four double-spaced pages. I really liked that book, which was extremely surprising to me. I'd read the Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain beforehand. Personally, I hated the book and don't know why I finished it. Initially, I dreaded having to read a Mark Twain novel again. Well, I ended up being pleasantly surprised; you can't judge a book by one cover, and apparently you can't judge an author off of one book! Enjoy the read if you have the time, don't feel bad if you don't want to read it; it is an essay after all!

     In Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Huck faces many trials as he and Jim down the Mississippi River on their way to Cairo. Throughout the book, Mark Twain’s personal opinions can be seen throughought his novel. His views from pre civil war times tell of his opinion on subjects including conformity, guilibility, greed, corruption, misunderstanding, slavery, and the importance of telling the truth. Huck and Jim’s trials throughout the book reflect the inconsistencies and issues in society and man, they also revealed major internal conflicts that were faced in the novel.

     “The pitifulest Thing out is- a mob; they don’t fight with the courage that’s born in them, but with courage that’s borrowed from the mass, and from their officers” (145.) Colonel Sherburn’s speech told of Twain’s views on society; movements in society are often fueled by cowards, who in turn are backed by followers with little courage themselves. These “followers” in society are men and women who don’t open their eyes and think for themselves; rather they will conform to the will of others around them or go with what is considered “popular” by the mass. Men oftentimes join the rest of society so that they might appear normal, thinking that they will be more accepted if they are like everyone else, sometimes that is true.

     Another example of corruption in society was the symbolism behind the Duke and the King. The Duke and the King represented all of the flaws and lies in society; in spite of their record of being complete phonies, they were almost instantly accepted into an ignorant society. Only the informed Doctor tried to defame The King’s feeble attempts of acting like Peter Wilk’s brother, “He is the thinnest kind of imposter- has come here with a lot of empty names and facts which he picked up somewheres; and you take them for proofs, and are helped to fool yourself by these fools…” (166.)
The gullibility of the town was shown when the Doctor offered evident proof of the King’s ineptitude to fake a British accent. The fact that nobody was willing to accept the Doctor’s proof shows that the society believed what it wanted to believe. If Huck and The Doctor hadn’t acted on behalf of what they knew to be true, Peter’s innocent, young, orphan nieces might have lost everything that they had.

     A great example of the corruption of men individually, and the conflict between good and evil was the conflict between Huck and Judge Thatcher with Pap. Pap says, “Look at it, says I- such a hat for me to wear- one of the wealthiest men in town if I could get my rights.” (35.) In his head, pap is seriously misguided by the idea that money is the only way that he could be happy and earn his rights. Rather than trying to work hard to achieve his American dream, he tries to make Judge Thatcher give him Huck’s money. There is a conflict when the Judge refuses to give Huck’s money away so easily, and there is a physical conflict when Huck doesn’t give Pap the money that he is desperate to obtain.

      Another conflict was shown when Jim and Huck have differing views on the tale of King Solomon. “Doan’ talk to me ‘bout yo’ pints. I reck’n I knows sense when I sees it; en dey ain’t no sense in sich doin’s as dat.”Jim personally didn’t believe that King Solomon was wise to want to cut a baby in half; Huck, on the other hand, believed that Solomon was using the threat of cutting a baby in half to suit a wiser purpose. This scene goes to show what lengths people will go to to stick with their beliefs. Men can be narrow minded when it comes to hearing other’s opinions, especially when their mind is set on a particular idea or ideal.

     Perhaps the most significant conflicts were conflicts that raged inside of Huck throughout the story. Huck was constantly fighting himself over the issue of slavery, and whether or not he should help Jim become free. At one point, Huck felt so terribly about what he was doing, that he almost wrote to Miss Watson to reveal Jim’s whereabouts, “I was a-trembling, because I’d got to decide between two things, and I knowed it… Alright then, I’ll go to Hell” (107.) Huck had learned his whole life to fear going to Hell, but despite this, he decided in the end that he would risk everything and anything to help his best friend. Slavery was a huge issue during Twain’s lifetime, Twain’s views were reflected through the way that Huck finally sees the importance in helping a man who was like a brother to him, in spite of the consequences.

     Another conflict arose when Huck had to choose whether he would be honest with Mary Jane about The Duke and The King’s fraud to earn their money. Huck had grown up telling lies to save himself from getting in trouble or being beaten by his abusive father. He finally learned that sometimes it really is better to tell the truth, “I reckon a body that ups and tells the truth when he is in a tight place is taking considerable many resks… I’m blest if it don’t look to me like the truth is better and actuley safer than a lie.”

     This concept of telling the real truth becomes significant again in the end. Tom was able to free Jim from slavery only through telling the truth. Tom, the romantic in the novel, made Jim sleep with snakes,write with his own blood, and eat sawdust. If Tom had never told the truth about Miss Watson’s death and will, Jim would never have been set free.

     There were many conflicts both internal and external in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. They helped the reader to see Mark Twain’s personal views on controversial topics of the day. Issues such as lying, greed, slavery, misunderstanding, and cowardice through conformity were all addressed and resolved in the end.

Nascar and Sadie Hawkin's Response

     My life seems to have many different phases to it. If I had to give this month a name, it would probably begin something like, "The most crazy and busy month that I've ever had in my life."

     At the beginning of the month, my grandparents were living in my house. I won't say too much about it if I can help it, (I want to be respectful.) My grandparents don't get along very well, and I felt like I didn't have a peaceful place where I could go to be alone and let out the stress. Lots of times the only peace I could find was in the menial day to day tasks in school. It was terrible to see my grandparents lose their house and everything they had to debt, there are so many happy memories of me and my cousins at their house. And now it's not theirs. The financial crisis has scared me a lot, and I hope with all my heart that I'll be frugal and not have to end up in the same situation.

     Fortunately, there was light at the end of the tunnel for my grandparents, due to Franklin Roosevelt's social security plans from about sixty years ago, my grandparents had enough money to move out and go on a mission. My Grandpa has always wanted to go on another mission to Brazil, and I'm happy that he got to meet one of his life's goals.

     During February and March, my life was passing me by quicker than I could imagine. The snow melted, leaving the cold and bare ground, leaving me with a feeling of hope. Most of the sadness in my life melted away with the melting of the snow. You never realize how much you miss the sunshine until it hits you full on in the face.

     My Dad recognized the fact that I needed a vacation more than anything, a chance to get away from everything and just be able to relax. I can't begin to write how glad I was to go on a vacation. Together, me and my dad decided to test the experience of going to Las Vegas and seeing Nascar!

     The road ahead of us stretched on forever. Mirages glinted off of the surface of the hot black gravel, making you thirsty, even from a perfectly air-conditioned car. The magic of the mirages was quickly vanished once we reached the largest parking lot that I've ever seen, we had reached Las Vegas.

     The parking lot spanned a mile in every direction from wherever you stood. I could barely comprehend the amount of cars that I saw there. Cars all have to have a driver to drive them, and so I wondered in awe at the enormity of the crowd of people that must be waiting in the arena. They had all come to see one thing; millionaires racing across the huge NASCAR circle to become even more famous than they already were.

     Colonel, Jackson, my dad, and I were able to see one of the few and far between rainstorms that occur in such a desolate desert landscape. The pelt of rain postponed the race for an hour or two, so we sat in a guard trailor. The huge guard trailor that we were able to see the next day frustrated me a little. Taxes had paid for the making of the National Guard trailor which had tons of luxuries, (including a t.v. in the bathroom.) Aside from my slight irritation, I must admit that it was cool to watch the race while sitting on seats that were safely secured to the top of the trailor itself.

     We had to wear earplugs as the race comensed, cars raced by at two hundred miles an hour. The roar of the engines was quickly replaced by the sight of the cars shooting down the track.

     In the end, Dale Earnheart Junior, (the driver that we were rooting for,) got sixteenth place. It made me laugh that Joey Lagano (a nineteen year old boy,) ended up beating our well experienced Guard Car driver.



     Aside from going to NASCAR, I did another crazy thing that I never thought I'd do. I asked someone to Sadie's! It was funny, because most of my friends just laughed when I told them,
"Well finally you asked him, Jojo! It's about time!"
Despite the scepticism, I was extremely excited to go. Surprisingly it didn't take me very long to decide how to ask him. I used a method that I'd come up with a few weeks before I'd decided to ask anyone. Knowing that Don's (sorry for the fake name again,) family is pretty in to movies and costumes, I got a huge bucket of popcorn to ask him. On the outside of the popcorn bucket, I taped a sign that read,
"John, now that I've buttered you up... Will you go to Sadie's with me?"

     Door-bell-ditching has never been one of my favorite things, as a matter of fact, I've never door-bell-ditched anyone except for my own family on Valentine's Day. So what better use for a brother than to have him do the dirty work? My brother was nice to consent to sprinting across the col-du-sac to help me deliver my Sadie's invitation.

Well I must admit that I thought my idea for asking was pretty nifty, but in all honesty, it wasn't nearly as cool as the response. I don't think that I've ever seen a more well thought-out and creative response in my life, and I probably won't see one like it again! Don responded with a funny video that he'd made to put on YouTube. It was great to see the boys in my neighborhood be simultaneously tackled to the ground by my Sadie's date. I never thought I'd see that one I'll admit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X7_Q-PfSw8

Pick-up lines: The do's and don'ts

     Before my yearly protest of Valentine's begins, I thought that maybe I should share some funny and nice pick-up lines (in the hopes that my readers will take heart and actually use them to brighten the day of the guy or girl that you like!)

In case you haven't seen Panda Girl's blog http://mymemory62005.blogspot.com/, you will notice that I borrowed most of the pick-up lines from her. I give her full credit for finding them (while adding a few of my personal favorites in the process.)

Funny/ Interesting Pick-Ups
Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you.
Do you have a band-aid? I just scraped my knee while falling for you!
Hey, aren’t you forgetting something? Me!
You must be a broom, because you just swept me off my feet!
Don’t you know me from somewhere?
Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? My jaw!
Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
"Hey, Hailey!" (Big hug). "I haven’t seen you forEVER!!" (huge kiss) "Wow, you’ve really changed!"...
"I’m not Hailey"
"What? Oh my gosh, you even changed your name!"
Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Hi, my name’s Right…Mr. Right.
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you.
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Stupid Pick-ups
If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.
If you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning”.
If you were a library book, I would check you out.
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.
I’m feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?
My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
You’ve got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche. (Hmm... That reminds me of one of my friends! Any guesses?)

Pick-Up Lines for if you think she's pretty, or if you're somewhat stalkerish
If beauty were a grain of sand, you’d be a million beaches.
If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.
If water were beauty you’d be the ocean.
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. (Creepy!!)
Some Tacky Pick-Ups
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south!
Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
What’s a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
Is there a doctor in house, because I think my heart just stopped beating…
"Did it hurt?" "Did what hurt?" "When you fell from heaven?"
I think you’ve got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it’s just a sparkle.

Cute Pick-Up Lines (Jojo's recommended favorites. Yes, they are tacky I will admit!)
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
When I marry you, I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
If beauty were sunlight, you’d shine from a million light-years away.
I think I must be dying because I’m looking at Heaven.
If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.
"Now God must have just been showing off when he made you."
I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I’ll stop loving you.
When you look into the mirror holding up a dozen roses, you see the 13 most beautiful things in the world.
If a star fell for every time I thought of you, the sky would be empty.

"Hey Jojo."
"What?"
"Do you like fireworks?"
"Yeah, they're really pretty. I watch them with my cousins every year!"
(laughing and a slight pause,)
"Well I like how they go up..."
(Lift arms)
"Out"
(Extend Arms)
"And Down"
(Put your arm around the girl, totally surprising her.)

"Hey Jojo..."
"Yeah?"
"It's cold. Are your hands cold"
(me not taking the hint,)
"Um... No? Not really."
(reaching for hand,)
"Well let me check..."
(grab hand, and don't let go for anything.)
That was a most shocking pick up line for me.
Let me just tell you a few of my thoughts in those few split seconds. "Oh my gosh! He's not letting go! Why isn't he letting go of my hand? What's going on?! Oh... Oh! He's holding my hand! Whoa that's never happened to me! What do I do now?!"

Smooth Talking Pick-Ups for guys
Don’t walk into that building — the sprinklers might go off!
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor…so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons. (Plus that one will totally make a girl laugh, unless she has no sense of humor what-so-ever.)

Some of the extremely don't "Don'ts" Pick-Ups
I envy your lipstick. (
If you were a booger I’d pick you first. (Can you say gross? That's a good way to scare a guy off if you don't like him.)
Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet. (What a beautiful comparison? Um, how about not? Yikes!)

Blood Drive

     Uncontrollable fear. Shaking. Hoping for it to be over.
I knew that I didn't like blood. I've known that ever since I broke a blood vessel a few years ago, but more than anything I was determined to help.

     A few weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to participate in my school's blood drive. My cousin strengthened my resolve through positive peer pressure.

     The large cafeteria was filled with ominous black chairs that looked like they should be sitting on a beautiful front lawn rather than sitting there and looking so terrifying.
It was surprising to see the faces of the other people who were donating. There were skinny skaters with long dreadlocks, jocks who laughed lightly about donating a pound of blood, and there were also goth girls that silently kept to themselves. Even though these different groups of people didn't look like they had much in common with each other, I admired them.

     Although my appointment was set for 2:30, the school cafeteria was so full of hopeful donors that I wasn't seated to begin the donation until about 5:30. Really, my fear of blood was a bit irrational, but I couldn't help shaking. The medical personnel were laughing at how badly I quivering as I sat in the chair before giving blood. At first I blamed how scared that I felt on the cold, but it wasn't long before I realized that it wasn't the cold at all.

     The man (whose name tag read "Nick,) was about to slip a long needle into me. Looking concernedly at my skin color, he asked
"Are you okay?" trying not to laugh at my apparent unease.
"Well... I'm anxious because I'm scared of blood." My teeth chattered as I tried not to imagine the red liquid pouring out of my arm and into the big plastic container at my side.
"This must be your first time..." Nick looked down at my application and medical information searching for my name,
"Beth... Well, don't worry; this is my first time too."

What little nerves I had left dropped down into my stomach, I sat there nervously wavering like a leaf in the breeze.
"Wait... Is it really your first?" I spluttered, almost pleading for him to take back what he had just informed me.
To my distress, he just shook his head,
"Really, this is my first day."

All of my memories seem a little fuzzy after this point, but I remember trying really hard not to imagine the blood or needles involved. I thought about how my blood could save someone's life, and that someday, maybe some brave teenager would save my own life someday.
An iodine swab was used to clean around the large blue vein in my pale and shaking left arm. Fortunately that one act helped calm me down a little bit, earlier I had thought that the big patch of iodine on a fellow classmate's arm was a large spot of blood.

Nick looked at my arm, searching for the perfect vein to stick the needle in. Ironically he laughed,
"Well, it is very easy to see your veins. This is going to be so easy!"
It wasn't.
A moment later I closed my eyes and looked the other way as he plunged the long needle into my translucent skin.
It was a pain that was completely unexpected. My veins literally rolled and refused to give blood. Not understanding that my body was having a rare reaction to fight off giving blood, Nick pushed the needle further into my veins and began twisting it. He really wanted my blood. My veins didn't want to give more than a single drop, so instead they screamed in pain as I clutched the thin air to try and stem the throbbing sting. I gritted my teeth to avoid moaning and scrunched my eyes closed, trying to block out the pain. Tears were teasing my eyelids and threatening to leak down my face.
Nick looked confusedly at the doctor next to him,
"Her blood isn't really coming out! Only those few little drops."
"Well," the doctor replied, eyeing down at me through her spectacles,
"she must be having a reaction." she said simply, still focusing on her own patient.

     By now some H.O.S.A students were looking at me rather worriedly. I can only imagine the look of pain that I must have had on my face. I didn't understand what a reaction was, all I knew was that it was an extremely painful experience.

     To my relief, the needle was yanked out of my arm quickly and covered with a wad of gauze. After a few seconds of getting some fresh air into my lungs, Nick began to tell me the situation,
"Well, there are two options Jojo..." he paused, as if trying to decide what option I would choose beforehand.
"We can either stop trying to draw your blood altogether because the veins in your left arm weren't willing to give up the blood in your system; or we can try your right arm, the chances of a reaction happening again in your right arm are a lot less likely."

     I could be done, I didn't have to face the pain of a needle being stuck into me ever again if I didn't want to. I didn't have to donate my blood, and now I knew that for me it might not even be possible. There was one thing that I knew for sure, I didn't want to face the physical pain that I had just felt ever again...
Or I could be brave. I could do what I'd been waiting for hours on end to do. Somebody's life could be saved if I would be willing to endure the pain by holding out a little longer. I wasn't trying to be a hero, but my own stubbornness wouldn't let me give up when the choice was difficult.
That one split second choice was the hardest quick decision that I've ever made in my entire life.

     This time, my blood would have to be pumped into my arm before I began to donate, nervously I held a stress ball in my right hand and squeezed it to allow the blood to flow. Pressure was applied to my arm until I could feel nothing except for the numb tingling at the end of my fingertips.
My right arm's veins were a lot harder for Nick to locate, and he had to ask the opinion of his co-worker to decide which vein would be best to poke the needle into.

     Once again I was too frightened to watch as Nick smoothly slid the needle beneath the surface of my skin.

     Blood poured out of my arm and into the waiting plastic bag at my side. Unfortunately I didn't have very much blood in me, and I had to keep squeezing the stress ball so that it would come out. Every time I had to squeeze the ball, the needle would prick my veins sharply and irritatingly.
Over the course of the next five minutes, 3000 calories of blood were taken out of me.
A pint, a pound, enough life blood to make me paler than I already was. The multiple doctors agreed that they couldn't let me leave until about thirty minutes later when I got some of my color back.

     Overall donating blood was a painful experience, but it was worth it. Even though I'm still more scared of blood than anything else, I'm really glad that my blood was able to become useful. Now I really realize how important it is to overcome fear!

A Reflection of Forever

There’s a certain crash of sound--
Aquamarine waves.
Like the Life that’s all around,
The Ocean’s song wakes.

The Sea stretches forever,
Like stars out in space.
Our own concept of never—
Hardly has a place

Heaven and Earth meet far off—
Their colors blending;
Sometimes harsh and sometimes soft—
Always Reflecting.

The good of Life can be seen,
Looking out to Sea—
It’s constant, sparkling blue sheen
Shows what we can Be.

A Parody Mocking Twilight Fans

Sorry about this blog post, my dear readers, once again I prove how bad I am at poetry! I did this poem in the format of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven," it was required for English.
The second, fourth, fifth, and six lines rhyme, (the other two don't.) I figured that I would have to write about my hatred for Twilight sometime, so enjoy!
If you do like Twilight(like most of my friends,) then I most heartly apologize. Unless you are like the following women mentioned...

Once upon a sullen silence, I sighed, I sighed about the Cullens.
Crazy, dreamy, drowsy fans, oh how it made me sore;
Muscular, masculine vampire men with shiny skin gave me chagrin.
Their paleness, ageless, alter less lives gave me such a bore.
Guys abhor this whole love lore, “where’s Harry Potter?” I implore.
This Twilight book girls opt for.

Meyer’s tale is mildly cheesy; Edward makes love look so easy.
Edward sinuously stalks our dear Miss Swan, which many girls adore.
When suddenly there came a tapping, tapping, tapping on the wide window;
Our happy Edward leaped right in, in black Goth clothes galore.
His ominous outlook, his empty stare; surely he needs a councilor.
Only this and nothing more.

Since when did vampires sparkle in sunlight, why are young werewolves so cute and cuddly?
These addling attempts of harrowing humor make my head too sore.
Rabid fans now buy icepacks, and glitter, Volvos, old trucks, t-shirts and such.
Meyers has made gobs of cash from movies, my mother, and more!
Please stop these callous and crazy cults of women I implore,
No Twilight anymore!

Repel On!

I didn't really call myself brave when I did it. Then again, it's not really one of my habits to brag about myself unless I'm joking.

On Black Friday, me, a few of my cousins, my two uncles, my dad, and my grandpa went repelling and rock climbing. It was really fun! My family thought that I was brave for volunteering to repel down a hundred foot high cliff first, I didn't really think twice about it. It was freezing cold up there in the mountains, and both of my uncles commented on how they could see my goosebumps from ten feet away. Surprisingly, it was a lot less cool when I started going up and down the cliffs with ropes attached to me.

The pictures look really amazing, and you could probably see all of them on facebook; I'm going to post some of them anyway because they are so scenic and cool.

Regaining Self Confidence

     For the past few weeks, I haven't really felt like myself. It's really hard for me to explain, and it's pretty embarrassing for me to admit, but I think the main cause is that I'd lost some self confidence. Talk about a typical teenage crisis; somehow I'd become so thoroughly depressed, that I honestly started to believe that I didn't have any friends that cared about me.

     I now realize that that idea  lodged in my brain was completely and entirely wrong. For the past few weeks, I've been allowing little insults to hurt me worse than bullets. Often, I found myself just curling up in a ball on my bed for long periods of time, wondering what could possibly be wrong, wondering if I just had some sort of mental problem that was making me depressed. And then rationalizing that maybe that would be the cause as to why people didn't like me.

     I'm sorry if this is making you feel sorry for me at all, that's definitely not what I'm trying to get at, but I'm being completely honest.

     I finally realized why I became so depressed- it's because I allowed every little tease and taunt to feel like an insult to me, my family, and my cow. Instead of judging myself by what I know, I judged myself off of what others thought about me. My self confidence was utterly demolished. I continued to lose even more self confidence because I haven't been doing what I love to do lately; helping people! I had been so concerned about worrying about not having any friends, that I didn't take the time like I normally do to be one myself.

     It took three lessons in church and seminary to completely heal that little hole in my heart. I can't remember everything that was said during those lessons, but I want to type up a page of quotes from on of those lessons, and I hope that this will help somebody out there who feels alone and unloved.


"One of the greatest weaknesses in most of us is our lack of faith in ourselves. One of our common failings is to depreciate our tremendous worth." ~Elder Tom Perry

"A wise teacher and stake Relief Society president flashed a large picture on a screen. It showed a bright-eyed boy with unkempt hair and folded arms, deep in thought. The caption rad,
'I know I'm somebody 'cause God don't make no junk.'
Please let me repeat, 'I know I'm somebody 'cause God don't make no junk.' ... He knew he wasn't junk. He knew he wasn't impossible. He knew he was a human being loved by his Heavenly Father." -Elder Marvin J. Ashton

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Elenor Rosevelt

We do not all have the same talents, abilities, or potential, but each of us has something that we can do well. We need to find our own unique qualities and build on them. We need to have sufficient confidence in ourselves that we can improve. We can begin by thinking that we can succeed.

There are times when we all feel somewhat less adequate than other people. We need to compare ourselves with our own best selves and seek for improvements that are within our own capabilities. One of the greatest challenges is to overcome the feeling that we are not important.

Our life has a purpose. We were born to succeed and to become like God.

Finally I've started to think postively about myself again, and now I don't really care what people think about me. Life isn't about what people think or don't think of you, it's about what you yourself and God know about you!

If you have time, please watch the video on this website.
http://www.thedoorpost.com/hope/film/?film=4dd298f102c77b625cf37a9e7744ac68

Benjamin Franklin Values

     In English, we had an assignment to make a list of ten values that we want to maintain throughout our lives. I thought it would be good if I posted my values here so that I can read them and remember them. Now I will tell you the list of ten values that I made for class.

1. Sympathy and Generosity- Throughout my life, I will do my best to be understanding of others and their situations (putting myself in other people’s shoes. I will be generous to those in need, and never lose my human heart and empathy.
2. Anticipation- I will constantly do my best to anticipate and prepare for my future by hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
3. Courage- Even when life throws its worst at me, I will be brave: honest, loyal, and true to myself and my fellow man no matter the negative or positive consequences.
4. Gratitude- During the course of life, I will remember that God and my parents have made me who I am today, and recognize that other influences will shape who I will yet become. It is with this attitude that I will always make sure that I appreciate the many positive influences that have helped me in accomplishing my goals.
5. Learning- I will recognize that no matter how much I do that I will never be perfect; even with that knowledge, I’ll continue doing my best to always continue learning, to the benefit of myself, my posterity, and those I influence.
6. Purity and Self Control- I will recognize that eventually in my life, I will encounter negative people with negative intents and purposes; it is then that I will maintain pure self control, knowing that God is always watching.
7. Zeal- Without a passion for life, life would be meaningless. I will live my life by continually counting my blessings and reminding others that they should too.
8. Respect- I will respect all men and women by accepting their viewpoints and listening, even if I don’t agree. I will treat everyone as I want to be treated to show proper respect.
9. Firmness- I will be firm in my resolutions, and I will not allow my values to be discarded at any time for the sake of convenience.
10. Determination- In life there will always be trials that will make me lose my direction, but I will do my very best to remain determined, focusing on all of the values that I want to uphold throughout my entire life.

The Crucible

     Crucible- 1. A heat resistant container in which ores or metals are melted 2. A place or a set of circumstances where people or things are subjected to forces that often make them change. In Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, the unhappy plot unfolds as fear and revenge heat up the whole town, despite their best resistance to it. The hot temperature of the fire around the crucible continually soars as Reverend Parris tries to serve his own needs by interrogating his niece Abigail. Abigail helps intensify the heat of the inferno even more as she takes revenge on her lover John Proctor and his wife. Following in her wake, the whole town becomes a raging blaze, accusing others so that they may remain unaccused.

     Fear can change a person into someone completely different from who they truly are inside. As in the case of Mary Warren, she ended up having to choose between risking her own life to hanging or condemning the innocent John Proctor to his own death. Eventually her courage broke, and she accused Proctor of witchcraft even though that was something totally against her value of honest. The town girls kept accusing others so that the blame for their dancing in the woods would shift onto someone else. Realizing when they first started accusing that they were completely lying, knowing that lying was a huge sin, they tried to justify their own sin of lying by accusing others who had also sinned. Fearful of what might happen if they were caught lying made them feel like they had to continue these lies to remain safe.

     Gossip appeals to people emotionally because it spreads other people’s private actions and thoughts in a dramatic fashion that appeals to our senses. Eventually our strong belief in something that can’t be proved becomes so strong through our own self analysis that we begin to believe gossip that could be completely untrue about others. John Proctor rightfully accused Abigail of lying and trying to kill his wife, but Elizabeth ended up condemning her and her husband’s lives by not revealing the actual truth. Because of Elizabeth’s inability to tell the truth, gossip and lies seemed to be the only truth. The lies by gossip could not be proved or disproved, but the actual truth ended up being told and perceived as a lie, thus furthering the “evidence” that Abigail’s and the girls’ accusations were true.

     Because of the flames started by Reverend Parris’s questioning Abigail and Abigail’s lying, the heat that they caused in the town eventually melted their crucible, the once resistant resolve of the town completely crumbled. When Proctor chose to die in innocence of crime rather than living a lie and dishonoring his name, he took the heat of the whole town into his whole being. Proctor chooses to let them kill him in innocence rather than giving them the means to justify the fact that they had killed so many people already. A name can be compared to a person’s soul; a name is a personal describing adjective that describes who you truly are as a person. John Proctor realized that he could not be true to his name or himself by continually living a lie for the rest of his life; he knew that he hadn’t been true to himself in the past by cheating with Abigail, but he also knew that integrity was a value worth dying for. At the end of the book, an honest man realized that living life after denying who you truly are isn’t even worth it.

Halloween Dance #2

     On Halloween night, I went to my school's girl's choice Halloween dance with my friend Parker, and it was really fun!

      I asked Parker in a way that I made up myself, I got a Halloween Chinese fortune cookie box and then bought some fortune cookies that I customized with the help of my mom. We cooked fortune cookies in the microwave for about twenty seconds- they become soft enough to open just a crack. Once that was done, we removed the paper fortune inside and then replaced it with our own home-made fortunes! On the fortunes that I made for Peter, I had lucky letters instead of a lucky number. The lucky letters spelled out my first name.
The fortunes had awesome sayings on them that I chose like:
"Curiosity kills boredom. Nothing can kill curiosity."
"The harder you work, the luckier you get." and my personal favorite,
"Help! I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery!" and on the outside I had a note that said, " I would be very "fortunate" if you'd go to the Halloween dance with me!"
Peter then responded by giving me a ton of Chinese take-out boxes that were filled to the brim with white rice, each contained a Chinese character. Admittedly, I had to get my Chinese teacher's help the next day to figure them out, but he said "yes" on the same day that I asked him!! Isn't that nice?
I like how every guy I've asked so far has responded on the same day, I know sometime that my luck will run out with that whole "same day" thing, but I'm still pretty fortunate myself.

     For the day activity on Friday, we had a Freaky Feast that my mom did a ton of work for. There was a list of crazy named items that we had to order from for dinner, but we didn't know what any of them were, (well maybe I knew a few...) Anyway, so that was really fun to order stuff that you didn't really know what it would turn out to be! After an amazing dinner, we all went to the Farmington corn maze, nobody in my group knows this to my everlasting embarrassment, but my cellphone fell out of my pocket during the maze!! Luckily we were able to call the maze and it was found and returned safely. The last thing we did for the day activity was go to Jessica's and watch "The Sixth Sense," what a creepy Halloween movie!!!

     It was really scary driving so many people in my car, because I've never ever driven more than two other people in my car at any given time, I know that I only had one more person to drive, but it really scared me. I'm not the world's best driver, and now I realize that I am absolutely terrible at directions. Oh well! It was kinda fun to drive my mom's more expensive maroon Tribeca.

     The dance itself was more of a party than a dance, the music was extremely loud, and it was that punky almost rap style of music that most teenagers (other than myself like.) There wasn't a single slow dance for partner dancing, so I started using crazy dance moves that other people started teaching me and then made myself look pretty weird! Good times!

My Favorite Birthday Present of All Time

     It was about two months before my birthday when I was randomly looking through a National Geographic magazine. Generally magazines don't really hold my interest, I like awesome long novels that I can get hooked on. As I was flipping through the pages, I saw a picture that caught my attention more than anything in any book could have. There were three or four pictures of adorable little children, there was only problem... Their mouths and teeth were completely deformed into unbelievable shapes that tore at my heart strings. It was then that I realized that more than anything, I wanted to help those kids. My mom was surprised when I called her name loudly across the house and said, "Mom, I know what I want for my birthday!!" I proceeded to tell her that I had everything that I truly wanted, telling her that those children's needs were so much greater than mine that I was willing to give them any birthday presents I would have gotten by donating to their cause.

     That became my favorite birthday present of all time, because I don't truly need anything. I have food, shelter, family that supports me, and the most amazing best friends that anyone could have. Why was I sent to Earth for if I'm not going to benefit it in some way?

     I must admit that there was one other thing that I thought would be cool for my birthday. I didn't expect it at all, and I was more concerned about my gift to Operation Smile. As I listened to the radio in September with my mom, I heard that one of my favorite singers was coming to Utah to have a concert, on my birthday! My mom told me that we couldn't go, because Colbie Caillat's concert was going to be held in a bar. It turned out that the concert wasn't really IN a bar, but next to a popular local bar in Salt Lake City.

     To my great astonishment, my mom bought multiple tickets to see Colbie Caillat and Howie Day, she, my cousin, and my sister were able to keep it a secret from me for over a month... Even when they had talked about going to see a concert, right in front of my face!

     It was funny, because as my birthday was approaching, I started talking to my mom about having a kind of "birthday party" on my birthday. I just wanted to have four or five close friends come watch a movie with me and not even call it a birthday party. Not even realizing how suspiciously against my easy and simple idea she was, I didn't even think that the reason she was so against it was the fact that she already had plans for me! In a desperate attempt to distract my mind from the idea of a birthday party, my cousin told me at school that she wanted to take me out to dinner on my birthday. To my embarrassment, I remember thinking to myself that it was pretty odd that Alexis had taken a day off work just to take me out to dinner. I mean come on, I'm not THAT special!

     The concert turned out to be amazing! Howie Day is such a better singer live and he has crazy facial expressions!! Colbie Caillat was just absolutely amazing. Her voice is so pretty, and I enjoyed all of her songs! I was a little sad though that she didn't sing my favorite song, it's definitely not her most popular (Tailor Made.) Oh well, it was way cool!

     All in all, it was a crazy and eventful day. It started with hiking with my friends in the morning, running around town all day with my mom, going out to dinner at my favorite Chinese restaurant, and finally ending in an amazing concert! My seventeenth birthday was a day to remember!

Where I'm From

I am from old fashioned picture frames,
from fading pink paint with many names.
I’m from blooming buds and wilting roses
to lanky limbed trees grown in unique poses.

I am from happy green playing fields
Fraught with kids riding bikes without yields.
I am from “love yous” and “don’t hurries”
From “stay safes” and “Don’t you worries.”

I’m from a joking military dad,
and Mom who’s a computer software grad.
I’m from family paparazzi grandma
With old, silly, sweet-toothed grandpa.

I’m from drinking hot chocolate all year round,
From eating Grandma’s “cooking” without a sound.
I’m from Mom’s Mexican, Italian, and more,
From eating so much it makes me sore.

And in this world that can be so bleak,
It’ll be those memories that I keep.
Locked deep, safe and sound in my own heart
I love them all, every single part.

Three of My Life Changing Events

     Sorry guys, but I'm posting yet another essay. This essay is different from any essay I've ever written because it's pretty personal to me, and it gives very accurate incite to why I act like I do, and tells readers how my mind works. In this essay for A.P. American history I was required to write about three of my most life impacting events. They might not seem like that big of a deal to you, but they were to me. Of course I knew a teacher would be reading this, so I tried to make it a little less personal. Don't be offended if you aren't personally mentioned; all of my friends have made an impact on my life. In fact, I didn't mention the affects of the friends I made at Fairfield. Because of my friends at Fairfield, I was able to have friends at Davis. To be more particular, I ended up meeting my very best friend of all time. So enjoy the essay!

     There are a few things about me that many people could easily point out when first meeting me, Jojo. I’m a simple girl, very easy to please, and excited for just about everything that life has in store for me. Although I’m the type of person who enjoys simplicity, and have only lived sixteen years, I have had personally significant, life changing experiences that I will never forget. I’ve had a complete paradigm shift from a near death experience, I’ve been able to start out on a fresh slate from an unexpected change of schools, and I now know the significance of both hard work and team work through my past efforts in the Davis High Marching Band.

     When I broke a blood vessel at the young age of ten, I came to realize the importance of life. Being as young as I was at the time, I had never had anyone really close to me die. My broken blood vessel was located somewhere above my nose, so at first, my family thought that it was simply a bloody nose. Unfortunately, the blood pouring from my nose didn’t stop after the first twenty minutes; after forty-five minutes, I was practically passing out while in the process of being carried into the Emergency Room. As I started to lose my senses, sitting on the gurney in the waiting room, I began to recognize the fact that I might die before a doctor could save me. With tear-filled eyes, I told my dad that I loved him and apologized to my older sister for being angry at her earlier in the day. A short time later, I was being carried again, but this time I was being lifted into a car instead of onto a gurney. The doctors saved me, but that is an event that I will never forget. Breaking a blood vessel was a very traumatizing experience, but I was able to learn first-hand that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. I finally comprehended the importance of living without regrets and making sure that you truly appreciate those you love before it’s too late.

     The second life changing experience that I had wasn’t as scary as my first, but it still had a huge impact on my life’s outlook. Halfway through eighth grade, my neighbors and I were informed that there was going to be a boundary change that would encompass not only us, but the two neighborhoods next to us. I was completely devastated. From the beginning of my torment in seventh grade, I had imagined what it would be like to be at the top of the rung, a ninth grader. In all my times of envisioning, I had never imagined that I would be going to a new school. Somehow, I would be re-living my seventh grade experience again, but this time I’d be a lost and shy ninth grader. Amazingly, going to Fairfield Junior High turned out to be the best experience of my life, and I learned so many skills, both socially and academically. The district that changed my neighborhood’s boundaries had a student body officer elected to help the other new kids involved in the boundary change, and I became the officer. In eighth grade, I had never tried to get to know anyone; I already had friends and didn’t feel like I needed more. When I became an officer that kids looked up to at a new school, I realized how important it is to make others feel important. I did my best to befriend lonely kids, like myself, and now I know more than ever that sometimes it’s the little things that count in someone’s life. Someone’s whole day can be made by one small and kind act.

     My final life changing experience wasn’t a single experience, but many impacting memories and challenges that I faced when first joining the Davis High Marching Band. It all began with my amazingly smart sister, Ashli. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be like her. Before I even knew the purpose of Ash’s shiny silver instrument, I knew that I wanted to grow up and play it too. Although I didn’t completely follow in her footsteps when it came to band, it has still been one of the best experiences of my life. After playing the flute all through junior high, for the marching band, I decided to learn a new instrument, the baritone. A baritone is a brass instrument, best described as a miniature tuba (although it is still extremely heavy.) Learning a new instrument was a lot harder than I’d expected. Sometimes I would sit in my room, practicing for hours on end, trying to make my mouth properly buzz. Carrying such a heavy instrument was mentally and physically strenuous; just holding the baritone up for a minute became a burden, but I learned how to mentally push through pain (even though I injured myself a few times in the process.) Marching band taught me the importance of hard work. Hard work not only benefits the person that’s working hard, it benefits every person that you keep in mind while completing the difficult task. The most important lesson I learned was the lesson of teamwork. While competing against other high schools, I had to rely on my fellow baritone players many times; they taught me how to follow in their footsteps so that I could be a positive asset to our team.

     Even though I have lived a fairly short life so far, I’ve already found meaning and purpose to my life through my many experiences. Through a completely random “bloody nose,” I learned how important it is to live life as best as you can before it’s too late, in school I learned about leadership and just how important it is to lovingly include anyone in need of friendship, and through marching band, I learned how good it feels to work towards a goal, accomplish it, and learn to be a team player as you work with others.

The Cutest Homecoming Invitation

     Once again, I'm sorry that I haven't been writing very much dear blog readers! It's been a crazy and hectic past month (particularly the past week.) I'm back in the marching band, and yes, I'm playing the heavy baritone again. On top of the three and a half hour long practices after school every week day except for Tuesday and Friday, I have hard classes like Chemistry, Honors English, and the infamous A.P. American history that I've done four and a half hours worth of homework over this weekend on. Ouch!

     Even though it's been kind of tough getting back into the work hard and no sleep routine, it hasn't been all bad. In fact, I was asked to my very first Homecoming dance (to my continually happy and most astonished surprise.) To be completely honest, I've spent the past month just trying not to think about the Homecoming dance. I kept telling myself that if I didn't expect to get asked, then it wouldn't hurt as much when I didn't get asked. But somehow I was wrong.

     On Wednesday night I was downstairs working diligently on my A.P. American essay (which I will post later,) when my dad called my name. My concentration was a bit shattered after working on this essay for over two hours, so I didn't stall for too long. To my surprise, dad stared me down and said,
"Beth, the door's for you." My brother next to him snickered a little, and I felt really confused. Had I been so concentrated that I couldn't even hear someone knocking on the door?
Yet again I was surprised when I walked into the entry way to find the door closed, not an inch of the night beyond could be seen. Walking a little bit quicker, I reached my hand for the door and peered outside no longer expecting to find a person. Even though I'd only been asked to one other dance, it felt just like the first time.

     One of our lawn chairs was sitting on the outer edges of the porch light's circle, I noticed a white piece of paper taped onto the back of the chair before I noticed the bright red rose sitting on top of it. The note read:
Dear Jojo...,
I would be immensely honored if you would accompany me to the Home Coming dance.
(and in a bit smugger tone of letters beneath it said,)
provided you can find all twelve roses to figure out my name.

     After doing so much homework, I was more than happy to take a break. It took me about thirty (or more) minutes to find all of the vibrantly red roses all around my yard and in the bushes and only five minutes to figure out that Wes was the one who asked me. For the past year I have collected every flower I receive. Wes didn't know that when he bought the roses, but I'm probably going to keep those roses for the rest of my life so that I can remind myself later in life that there's always someone out there who cares enough to make me feel happier.

     The next day Wes got a box of twelve donuts in his last period math class. I wanted to give him a dozen of something too! On the outside of the donut box it said something along the lines of:
"Do not open this box in class! If you are clever enough to unscramble these letters, (which I'm sure you are,) then you will have your Homecoming response!
Best of Luck! -Beth."

     As you've probably guessed, I stuck twelve letters inside the box, one in each donut hole. It spelled out, "I would love to!" because those were the first words that popped into my head when thinking of how to respond.

Patriotism

     Once again I'm posting a talk that I gave in church. It's a pretty intense talk, but it seemed like lots of people liked it! It would be a good talk to read if you have the time, enjoy! (And P.S. readers, I'm sorry I haven't written in my blog for so long! I need to work on that!)

     When I was asked by Brother Wood to give a talk on the girls' camp theme, "Be Patriotic," I wasn't all that surprised. I gave a thought or two last Sunday in relief society about being grateful for our country, and I guess that the fact that my dad, being a sergeant major in the military, also helped contribute to my being here today (in more than one way.)

     But, I don't mind talking to you today; being patriotic should be an important part in all of our lives. I looked up the word "Patriotic" in a rather large dictionary, and it explained that the adjective "patriotic" is a word that describes the characteristic of having devotion to one's country. But the similar word, "patriot" is a noun, a living person, who isn't just a feeling, but a person like you and me. A patriot is "one who loves his country and zealously guards its welfare;especially a defender of liberty." Over 900,000 known men and women have died as soldiers for our sake over the lifespan of America, they are a symbol of bravery, and their many tombstones remind us that freedom isn't free.

     It's easy to declare how patriotic we are, but it's a lot more difficult to be an actual patriot; a patriot that's willing to defend our country from those that would want to steal our freedom. Patriots don't have to be brave soldiers like my dad and so many others, we can all be patriotic by simply and bravely being grateful for the liberties we've been given, holding our standards and morals high, and by doing the best we can with the wonderful opportunity that we've been given by being born in a free country.

     I'd like to share a quick poem with you, written by Joanna Fuchs.
On the Fourth of July, I raised the flag,
As I spoke with love and pride;
"I'm blessed to be an American," I said,
To two friends who stood by my side.
One was my neighbor, who lives next door,
He's a citizen, like me.
The other, a visitor from a hard oppressed land,
Far across the Sea.
"My flag stays in its box this year,"
Said my neighbor, boiling mad.
"The terrible shape this country's in,
The future looks nothing but bad."
"Taxes, scandal, indifference and crime,
On our land like a giant stain."
My visitor said, "We have all that and worse,
But it's against the law to complain."
My neighbor looked startled, but not subdued;
Then he started on the Press:
"There's nothing but bad news; the headlines are bleak."
(It gets me down too, I confess.)
"Our news is all good," said my visitor.
"It's just how you'd like it to be.
We know what our government wants us to know;
Our press is controlled, you see."
My neighbor spun 'round and marched toward his house.
And here is the end to my story:
The next time we saw him, he was out in his yard,
Proudly raising Old Glory.

     Just like the grumpy old neighbor said, there IS lots of bad news out there, and sometimes it looks like our country's future IS bleak. Social security is going down the drain, and there's still lots of crime.

     But, in Africa, nearly six thousand people die every day from AIDS, and hardly any of them get proper treatment; while in America, we complain if the doctor's office is too busy to see us for a few hours.In the Middle East, women have to wear a veil at all times, and aren't allowed to drive; sometimes we complain that the prophet advises us not to wear tank tops, and sixteen years seems too long to wait to be able to drive or date.Over in mainland China, there are over 1.3 billion people, they can get punished by the government if they get caught reading the Bible in public; in America, we have the opportunity to pray or read the Bible and the Book of Mormon how we want, whenever we want, and wherever we want, but how often do we?

We have so many opportunities here, we can do just about whatever we feel like, just because we can or want to. Yet, sometimes it's all too easy to complain that we have it bad, and that our government isn't all that great, and every other little thing; even though we are still free, and free enough to complain.

     I have a testimony, and a strong belief that everyone here is truly blessed and loved by Heavenly Father, I hope that all of you will look for and be grateful for all the blessings that you have by being an American, and recognize the importance of being patriotic, no matter what the world's opinion of our country is.

Visiting Great Grandma Walker

So the last nine days have been completely scheduled to the rim with activities! Of course, I was on vacation. Our family went on a trip to Oregon, which concluded in a visit to San Francisco, and the long, rainy drive home.

The first part of the trip was dedicated to Grandma Walker... She is quite the character! She's like the energizer bunny, trapped in a ninety year old person's body!
Strangely I've come to find that the two of us have a lot in common. We both love life and are excited about pretty much anything good. We're both really short, (I'm shorter,) and we both really love animals.
Despite our similiarities, there is a minor difference between me and Grandma. For the most part, I prefer speaking my mind, but I try to filter what goes in and out of my mouth at all times; Grandma doesn't. She has no problem cursing, and has loads of famous quotes. The way she talks is a little bit childlike, she is blunt, and doesn't care if she insults other people with her honesty. The good thing to this is that you always know what's on her mind, and what she thinks of you.

When we walked into her old, whitewashed house in her old folks area in Oregon, the memory of our last visit was fresh on our minds. We stood nervously before her big black door as my dad knocked. A strange anticipation hung in the air, along with a foreboding sense of dread. For some reason, it took a really long time for her to reach the door of her small rambler. We found out after the door was swung slowly open that Grandma Walker had finally acquired a walker for herself, her ankle had never properly healed after she'd broken it last year... Her ankle was totally deformed, and I clenched my fists in anger as she told us how the doctor's had treated her. Technically they hadn't treated her at all, acting like she was too old to be helped and not doing anything.

She kept talking to us for a few minutes, her voice was a bit rattly, and she laughed often in her low alto voice. My dad acted clownish, just to see her reactions.
After talking so seriously, it wasn't long before we couldn't surpress laughs. Grandma finally took the time to observe the family that she hadn't seen in a few years, and she commented on her grandson's appearance.
Without sympathy, she looked my dad up and down. After her eyes were done scrutinizing my dad, she loudly exclaimed, "Why Grant, you've gotten so fat! You're just so fat, you must really like to eat!!" I felt a twinge of pity for my dad, but I just couldn't help but laugh at her unchanted, unrelenting bluntness. I was relieved that she didn't think I was fat.

     Our Grandma Walker has was born in 1919, so she's lived through a lot. She's lived through the Great Depression and both world wars. Because of her age, she has lots of traditions and formalities that haven't really changed much since her younger ages.

     The worst part of going to Grandma's is her hospitality. When she was our age, it was always necessary to offer to feed your guests. Grandma took it upon herself to make sure that we, "her guests," were well fed. This eventually led to her trying to force us into eating her old food,"Just shut up and eat some potato salad!!"

     I really love my Grandma, but there is one thing that our family can't deny. Her food would easily qualify for Fear Factor. After trying to stall the inevitable, we finally knew that there was no way to avoid eating what she offered. That night's course was potato salad.

     She'd been eager to have us eat the potato salad she made from the day she made it about a week before...

     My grandma sat in her rocker in the next room, watching us in the kitchen to make sure that we were well fed. Fortunately, her sight isn't all that great, she didn't see our noses crinkling in blatant dismay.
As if on cue, everyone looked to me, desperation emanating from their eyes. My mom silently questioned, "How much do you love your grandma?" I gulped and shook my head. I felt like I was volunteering for the guillotine. With a little hesitation, I muttered,
"Alright, I'll eat some in front of her, that way she gets the impression that we've eaten." As if reading my mind, mom whispered in relief,
"Are you sure? Okay, we'll stay over here, just come dump the rest in the garbage after you're done." I trudged into the front room with a paper plate, armed with only a fork against the potato salad.
Grandma looked at me expectantly, I dipped the fork into an odd colored potato and shoved it into my mouth before I could cower out. My heaved in protest to the disgusting salad, the second that I put the food in my mouth, I involuntarily gagged, chewing just enough to swallow it down, and then quickly forced three more bites before my stomach settled again.

    After I was sure that my grandma had seen me eat her salad, I slinked back into the antique filled kitchen and found the garbage can. That wasn't the worst food I had at Grandma's last week, but that really was taking one for the team.

     My whole family stayed in a fairly nice hotel while we visited Grandma Walker, her house was much too small for everyone. Even though we had a hotel room, my dad insisted that I spend the next three nights alone with Grandma to prove how much I love him... I really must love my dad, because there are things much worse than potato salad lurking in Grandma's fridge.

     As much as I tried to sleep in that morning to avoid breakfast, I just couldn't. Grandma's house was really cold, and it didn't help that I'm an early bird. At six thirty, I walked into the kitchen, only to find Grandma waiting for me. The very first thing out of her smiling mouth was,
"Let's get you some breakfast!!" I groaned inside, wondering if I could possibly come out of this trip alive.

     For breakfast, I had shredded wheat, with sour milk poured on it. That was pretty gross, but not the worst part. After only being able to eat half of it, Grandma insistently tried to make me eat everything else in her fridge. She handed me a black banana. I peeled the skin off, to reveal that the banana itself was covered in brown spots. Grandma handed me a butter knife, so that I could cut off the larger spots.
When I was done cutting, there wasn't really much banana left. She looked at me encouragingly as I bit into the hard banana. Even though that also was too gross to finish, I couldn't force myself to eat anymore after the tropical canned fruit. That fruit must've been opened and left in the fridge for a decade, it tasted like tuna...

Aside from the Fear Factor food, it was fun to visit my grandma again. We spent the whole first day in Oregon by doing things that she couldn't normally do for herself.
She scowled at my dad when he told her that we were going to go pick the weeds outside her house. She loves her potted garden, and didn't want us to think that she'd somehow not taken care of it,
"I don't think you'll find any weeds out there!! I don't think you can tell the difference between the plants and the weeds!" She was scared that we'd ruin her beautiful English Roses, and turned out to be really surprised that we actually managed to find so many weeds.
The last day in Oregon was sad, but it was the best day at Grandma's. We went on an eight mile hike called "Canyon Trail," which had ten gorgeous waterfalls.

     When we came back to Grandma's house after the hike, we got to hear lots of her stories and lectures. My favorite part of the whole conversation was a reference to her little old cat "Kissy Kissy." My grandma looked intensely at my dad as she asked,
"Now Grant, do you believe in aliens?" To which he instantly replied,
"No Grandma, there's no such thing. Don't worry about them." To which my grandma passionately exclaimed,
"Then what happened to my cat?!?"
I know that it's sad and crazy, but my Grandma believes that she has proof that her cat was abducted by aliens. The worst part about her cat stories is that Kissy Kissy was actually her neighbor's cat. (For some reason my grandma thought that their cat was hers.) One day, after grandma let him outside, Kissy Kissy "ran away," and she never saw her beloved cat again...
We're pretty sure that the neighbors just reclaimed their cat.

The Ballad of a Female Knight

Okay, I think Mrs. H tried to do me in with this one! I had to write a "twenty" line ballad for English! It was required to have a plot, and all ballads are required to be love stories... Needless to say, I couldn't do all of that in twenty, this turned out to be forty four lines of poetry in A-B-X-B format. Not only is it forty four lines, it has a very depressing ending! Sorry about that, it's hard to have a cheerful mood when writing poetry! (haha)

Alexandria was a gallant knight,
She used to sit at Arthur’s Round Table.
Dressed as a boy, she helped knights fight evil
As the Blue eyed hero of this fable.

The young lady fell in love with Arthur,
But unknowing, he married Guinevere.
Alex’s heart was hurt, but she stayed true,
She battled alongside him without fear.

Sparring with Lancelot, she learned to fight,
Alex earned respect from her belov’d king,
He never knew she was an armored girl.
He only saw her long weapons in swing.

On a dark and stormy night they set off,
The knights of Camelot looked for The Grail;
Alex as custom rode by Arthur’s side.
They searched through forest glades without avail.

Finally they came across a large cave,
It’s dark and dank depths were filled with despair.
Alex entered in front of the brigade,
Arthur gave her braveness no thought or care.

Down in the black unfathomable cave,
At the farthest reaches a light appeared.
Guided by instincts, they knew this was it,
The home of the Holy Grail they revered.

The room guarding The Grail sparkled with gold,
Hundreds of cups lined the intricate walls.
Together the comrades stood and puzzled.
Which of these cups would bring about their falls?

Would it be a goblet, made out of glass?
Could something like The Cup be plainly wood?
Arthur studied the many chalices.
He thought he’d found it, no one understood.

On a pillar was a gold glass, shining.
Its pleasant brightness filled up the whole room.
Arthur was about to drink its liquid
When Alex interfered and met her doom.

Arthur’s brave knight wanted to try it first,
She knew the wrong choice would bring instant death;
So she begged Arthur to let her test first,
After drinking, she soon ran out of breath.

Alex knew that Christ was a carpenter,
She wasn’t surprised that he’d chosen wrong.
Alex knew that her love would bring her fall,
So our hero bade a silent so long.

Continued/ Poems #2

I don't have much to say now days, so I'll keep posting my poems that I'm required to write.

This next poem is called a "found poem." It's actually kind of cool, but it took me forever to make. All you have to do is pick some lines out of already written books and make your own poem out of it! It's not plagiarism, because every "found poem" is titled "found poem" (thus informing the reader that none of the words in the poem belong to the author of the poem, if that makes any sense.)

My first found poem was written with a crazy variety of books which included The "Three Musketeers", "The Last Olympian", "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince", and, "Love, Stargirl."

Found Poem
Both remained suspended, motionless;
The storm began to subside
But still the sea was disturbed.
“Come! Come courage!”
As I said it, I knew it was a naïve hope.
Who are you if you lose your favorite person?
A sheer drop, black and faceless
It was a bleak, harsh view, the sea and the rock unrelieved by any tree or sweep of grass or sand.
Will we ever meet again?
I will sail into the future on mystery’s wings and I will not look back.

I wrote a second Hokku for fun, so you'll have to put up with it... Sorry! A Hokku is much like a Haiku, but about something other than nature.

Hokku
Light step follows light step,
A set of eyes bore into me;
I am being followed


This is an ode to eyes that crinkle when they smile. I wrote it, at first thinking about my friends, but in the end I started writing it about my cousin. So if you're reading this, I love ya "cuz cuz!" (Sorry about the blue eye thing, very few people have green eyes and not many things rhyme with green either... Except for mean, but that doesn't really fit!)

Those eyes that are so bright, they shine,
A caring, compassionate sign.
Eyes belonging to my best friend,
A friendship that will never end.
Her eyes are like an open book,
I understand with just one look;
Deepened shades of both green and blue,
Exuding happiness, like so few.
Eyes that make my entire day,
My cares are simply washed away.

I have two epitaphs to write now to entertain you all... Unfortunately you'll have to wait for another time, I just can't force myself to write another poem!

Poems

For the next few weeks, I'm required to write ten or more poems for English! I'm pretty bad at poetry, so this is going to be pretty funny! Well I guess I'll start with my Hokku (not Haiku.)Hokkus have three lines, so it's not too hard!

Hokku
We stretch our lanky limbs,
Our hearts race rapidly;
The game is about to begin.

Well that was simple, not that great, but I'm working on it. Now it's time for a few Haikus!
Haiku
The water is clear,
It swims in rapid torrents,
Yet it can be calm.

Haiku
Tall trees shade the sun.
Light filters in like a stream,
Shades of green and gold.

Haiku
Crimson embers crack;
Yellow dancers leap upward,
With orange partners.

Tomorrow Never Comes

     I gave a presentation in biology today, about a terrible disease called "progeria." I don't think I've ever cried as much as when I was making the power point presentation. The disease is absolutely horrible, and I cried continuously as I read about this adorable little girl named Hayley Okines. She is the sweetest little girl, and I was devastated that there is almost no chance of her surviving to her next birthday.

     Finally the time for my presentation rolled around. After school I felt like a mess, and probably looked like one too for all I know. But it was one of the hardest things that I've had to do, sucking up my own sentimental nature so that I didn't cry in front of every kid in the class. As I headed out to the bus after school, I was still thinking about Hayley, and my presentation; needless to say, I felt really depressed. And that's when someone made my day, as usual. I still continued pondering about Hayley's sad predicament, and I continued to think about my presentation, but I also thought about how much I love my friends and family. There's almost no words to describe how much I love you guys! So, I'm going to post one of my favorite poems, keeping all of my best friends in mind as I do.

Tomorrow Never Comes

If I knew it would be the last time I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly, and pray the Lord your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and a kiss, and call you back for just one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would tape each word and action, and play them back throughout my days.
If I knew it would be the last time, I would spare an extra minute or two,
To stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you know I do.

So just in case tomorrow never comes, and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you, and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day
That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss,
And you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear,
That you love them very much, and you'll always hold them dear.
Take the time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay,"
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

---Norma Cornett Marek

A Year to Remember

      “Did you hear the news, Beth?” asked my Dad cautiously, eyeing me as if expecting me to know.
“Uh, I have no idea what you’re talking about to be honest.” I responded. My Dad took an intake of breath, looking at me seriously,
“The district changed the school boundaries; you’re going to Fairfield next year.” As if on cue I gasped in horror,
“What?! Fairfield Junior High? But Dad, this is my last year of junior high; they can’t just force me to another school!” He just shook his head at my incredulity as I sank into a pool of tears.
Fairfield…

     I was going to be at the top of the rung, the oldest in the school, yet, I would be new!
At first I protested the idea altogether, literally, I went protesting during a public meeting held at Layton High to discuss our neighborhood’s “fate.” Why should I let the unseen district push me around like a child’s play-toy? The fact of the matter was that I  truly was nothing more than a pawn in their hands. Just another number, easy to be moved around the board. It wasn’t long before the hopelessness set in, the realization that I was going to a new school hit me harder than a ton of bricks; there was nothing I could do about it!

     Before I knew it, my time as a knight of Kaysville Junior High was up; the last months with my friends from fourth grade were over. Despite my feelings of self doubt and depression that I faced when I thought of the ominous outlook of attending a new school, there was a little compensation for my situation. In a feeble attempt to make the poor kids in my neighborhood have some confidence, they decided to elect a ninth grader to a student body officer position. With some luck and lots of posters, I became the “new student student body officer!” It was after the election that my attitude changed dramatically. As I had learned earlier, there was nothing that I could do to change the district, it’s not like I could really change the world just because I was “officer.” Like I’d been taught in Kindergarten, I was completely in charge of myself; attitude and all, and I decided that I was going to make the best of what I’d been given. After all, wasn’t there a reason for everything?

     After a long summer of contemplation, and heart-rending worries, it was the night before school! Where had summer gone? Life wasn’t like a train; it was more like a roaring subway that never stopped. Scared completely out of my wits about the quickly fading summer; I prayed earnestly that I might somehow at least recognize one person in all my classes. It was a ridiculous thing to ask for really, but God always finds a way to help those that try.
After getting the least amount of sleep that I’ve ever gotten on a school night, I woke up calm and collected. It was just another day of school, and hey, I wasn’t the only new student out there now was I?

     Well Fairfield was definitely a crazy experience at first. The first day of school was very interesting. I sat in all of my “ninth grader only” classes, yet many kids thought I was an eighth grader, just because I was new. In band class, I felt the full force of all of the staring! The band was a unified team of percussion and woodwinds who had learned to play together over the years. To their apparent amazement, Mr. Earl had let an outsider in, a little green-eyed flautist who had come from an opposing school! Well, it was hard to grin and bear the stares in that class; I was too busy blowing through my flute.

     Even though the first few weeks were pretty tough, Fairfield became my second home in no time! I knew only a handful of officers at first, but that slowly changed as I began branching out. My prayer on the first night of school had been answered and somehow the student body president was in all seven of my classes!

     For the first two and a half months I didn’t have a main group of friends; instead I sat with random kids that looked as lonely as I sometimes felt. Even though I didn’t really mind, I missed having my fun, over-dramatic best friends that actually new me. Maybe I shouldn’t have really missed that, because I got plenty of drama later on!

     Without warning, a quick week of school rolled past, becoming a month, which brought up the first menacing school dance.

     The terrible smell of cafeteria food wafted over all of the junior high students; the stench was terrible, but the smell of nervous sweaty kids had not yet settled. Trying to forget the fact that no boy would ask an unfamiliar girl to dance, I merrily wove my way through couples, asking many random boys to dance. I tried not to let my voice shake as I asked a simple “Will you dance?” question to all of those scary boys. It seemed weird asking them to dance, but unfortunately it was one of my many new “officer” duties. The weirdest part was the fact that I couldn’t differentiate between ninth eighth and seventh graders yet, everyone was taller than me anyway!

     It was at the first dance that I met the first person that befriended me. Picking at my sporty green skirt, I noticed a girl coming toward me. I didn’t know her at all; I didn’t even know what grade she was in. Well it turns out that “her” name was Heather; she had bright red hair and towered inches above me. Ignoring my shyness, Heather walked up to me and immediately burst into conversation as if she had known me for her whole life. Without further ado she declared,
“You have to dance with my brother!” Somehow she didn’t notice my cheeks turning redder than her hair, or my hand obsessively plucking at my clothing. Trying to imagine how shy or genuinely cowardly her brother must be, I was dragged across the flecked white floor by my arm. Wishing that I could sink through that white floor, I finally met the reason for my embarrassment. I was a bit surprised, he wasn’t as social inept as I assumed he must be, but he gave us both a rather penetrating grey-eyed glare; as if saying,
“Heather, you are dead! Another one?!” Politely, the vivacious red-head demanded that her brother ask me to dance. His reply was short and expected,
“I don’t know her.” Unfortunately, Heather was persistent even though I stood there feeling extremely awkward. After a slight pause, she continued trying to persuade him to do something that he didn’t want to,
“She’s Beth, the new S.B.O., now you do!” Now his glare was completely directed at her, contempt written in every crease between his eyes; somehow she had the strength not to pull her own eyes away as she bluntly stated,
“Tyler, you’re being a jerk.” Tyler's next few words were the first he ever spoke to me,
“Hi, I’m a jerk!” and to my disbelief, “jerk boy” asked me to dance. Despite the rather odd introduction, he turned out to be was a pretty funny kid that I grew to like.

     The next month after the dance, I realized how much I really wanted to have a best friend. One day after my geography class, I pulled a girl to the side and asked her if I could sit by her at lunch, biting my lip and wrestling with mountains of self doubt. We didn’t really know each other, but I thought she was awesome, (just because she played tuba.) Just as I'd expected, she gave me a weird look and replied,
“Um… Okay…” Not sensing her skepticism at having a peppy girl like me ask her that question, I was elated.

      I continued being friends with Jess, and in turn earned three new friends that helped to staunch the loneliness of being a new kid. As if on cue, they began invading our lunch table daily. The first new friend was Jason; he became one of my best friends over time. His dark brown eyes always seemed to smile by themselves, and he was a genuinely nice, down-to earth boy. My second new friend was Caleb. His looks practically defined his personality; bubbly and hyper. It was really easy to spot his bright yellow hair and his loud, childish laugh in a crowd, which wasn’t a bad thing! One of Caleb's favorite hobbies was staring off into space; perhaps he was just secretly thoughtful? His wandering mind made me raise my eyebrows a few times, but despite his sometimes dreamy state, he was still a good friend. The third and last friend that adopted me was Joey, he was a bit short compared to most boys and had a tendency not to worry as much as everyone else. He was unique in a good way. Out of the three of my new friends, Joey was the easiest for me to talk to. He became my friend much more quickly than the other two; it made me smile when he actually laughed at my tacky jokes.

     Now approaching was the third term; the year was almost over. My work as an officer became really tough and time consuming. At the beginning of the year, I had been appointed “historian” in my officer class. That meant that I had to gather all of our schools history and photos and put it into the end-of-year slideshow. For two terms I worked, there was an hour every day dedicated to putting familiar and unfamiliar faces on a screen that everyone would see.
The third term was the fastest by far; I worked diligently at the show, and in the meantime, went to those gross, sweaty wrestling matches. I can’t deny how relieved I began to feel when the lunch bell rang, weekends became my best friend!

     Third term dissolved into fourth term, I cracked down on the slideshow even harder, even skipping half of Lagoon day so that I could work on it. My teachers weren’t lenient on me, but I still loved them all anyway, what’s not to love about people that teach you everything you know?
The best part of the whole year (and the saddest,) was the last week of school. It had come so fast, and I just wasn’t ready for it to be over. There were times when I’d been sad and angry, sure, but the pros outweighed the cons so much that tears filled my eyes once more at the thought of leaving another school.

     There were three notable events in the last week. The first was the ninth grade photos. The photographer took the pictures as the sun was rising in the east, blinding everyone who was attempting to look at the camera. We were all tried to shield our eyes while staring into the heat of the sun for nearly ten minutes. Although that was painful, it wasn’t as painful for us as the poor boy that threw up over the side of the scaffolds. Conveniently that happened as we were taking our final picture as Fairfield Junior High’s ninth grade class.

     The second to last event was the “ninth grade dance” where only the big “ninth graders” themselves were allowed to attend. It was the best night at Fairfield by far! That night, I spent the laughing with my friends Jill, Jeremy, Kyle, and Jordan; we had become really good friends, but only Jeremy and Kyle would be attending the same school as me next year. We all tried our best not to feel sad then, as the full realization hit that we were dancing our last tacky junior high dance away. Brushing aside fears of high school, I couldn’t help being happy. The ninth grade dance was the first dance that anybody had asked me to dance all year!

     Finally the last song of the night came, leaving everyone breathless. My friend Joeycame and found me to ask me to dance, but out of the blue, a crowd of people separated us before I could respond to him. On the other side of the crowd was my friend Caleb who stood on his tip-toes and mouthed, “Do you want to dance?” I just yelled over the crowd,
“Sorry Caleb, I’ve already been asked!” Caleb might have heard me, but the crowd certainly didn’t. In that crowd was a motley crew of boys, heading in my direction. They were pushing a tall and rather embarrassed looking boy in my direction, unexpectedly; he walked up to me and asked shyly,
“Can I have this dance?” I turned beet red and said,
“Sorry. I’ve actually been asked to dance, twice!” Not wanting to turn down another boy, I practically ran over to Joey who was still waiting for a response.

     The last day of school was so short, bringing tears of pleasure and sadness. All students (to my relief,) watched the end of year slideshow in awe, making me feel so much better about my hard work. With only a short time left before the summer, everyone signed year books for a few hours.
After all was said and done, my group of four fantastic friends huddled into our little circle outside the school that we had become so fond of.

     Jess cried more than anyone, and we all tried to comfort her. It was unanimous that ninth grade had been the best experience of our lives so far.

     I learned a lot in ninth grade. I learned how to be a leader, and how mitigate petty drama. I learned how to make friends, I learned to forgive, but I never learned how to forget; how could I forget such a great school? At Fairfield I had learned a lot from my supportive teachers, Mr. Thompson Mrs. B, Mr. Earl. Even better than all of those perhaps, I had finally broken my “shy shell” that had completely enveloped me since elementary school. Finally, and best of all, I had had the best year of my life, I had learned to truly love school.